The holiday season can be fun but stressful for most people. But for those with social anxiety disorder (SAD), it can be unbearable and disabling. The pressure to socialize, attend parties and navigate crowded stores can be daunting.
SAD affects roughly 15 million American adults. It creates a nearly crippling anxiety that makes participating in social activities feel almost impossible.
“Social anxiety disorder is a fear or anxiety when you have to perform or be in a social setting,” said Adeola Adelayo, MD, a practicing psychiatrist with Banner Health. “People may experience physical symptoms like sweating, shaking or problems breathing. But in every social situation, they feel like they are being watched or criticized, even if that’s not true.”
Dr. Adelayo points out that SAD is not limited to stage fright or isolated situations. “It affects nearly every social interaction in daily life, making it hard to avoid,” she said.
If you or a loved one has social anxiety, this blog is for you. With the help of Dr. Adelayo, we share how the holidays can make SAD worse and share practical tips to navigate the season.
How the holidays can trigger social anxiety
The holidays are filled with social expectations. Dr. Adelayo describes the season as the “worst nightmare” for people with SAD. There’s constant chatter about the holidays, parties to attend and the need to make small talk with strangers. Add the noise, crowds and unpredictable routines and it becomes a perfect storm for someone with social anxiety.
For many, managing social anxiety during the holidays involves avoiding certain events or spending days worrying about upcoming social situations. “From the noise of a crowded store to people asking, ‘What did you buy?’—it can feel overwhelming,” Dr. Adelayo said. “This anticipatory anxiety makes even simple errands stressful.”
Holiday social anxiety tips
Navigating the holiday season when you have social anxiety disorder requires planning and coping strategies. Here are some things you can do to join the holiday cheer while caring for your mental health.
1. Pre-book your therapy appointments
You’ll want to pre-book your therapy appointments around the holidays.
“Knowing that social anxiety may peak during this time, it’s important to have sessions already scheduled so you can work through challenges as they arise,” Dr. Adelayo said.
2. Stick to your medications
Stay consistent with prescribed medications. Don’t wait to start or adjust medications until the holidays are in full swing. “If you’re on a medication like Zoloft, don’t wait until November to start taking it,” Dr. Adelayo said. “Begin in September, so it’s already in your system.”
Sticking with your treatment plan can help reduce the intensity of your symptoms and make navigating the season easier.
3. Set boundaries early on
It’s okay to say no to holiday invitations. “If you overextend yourself, you might end up backing out at the last minute, which only causes more stress,” Dr. Adelayo said.
You may want to start by attending smaller, less intimidating gatherings and slowly work your way up to larger events. Decide early which social gathering you’ll attend and politely decline others. A simple “Thanks for inviting me, but I have other plans” can save hours of anxiety.
4. Give yourself a job
If you feel nervous standing around at a party, volunteer to help out. “Offer to fill drinks or help in the kitchen,” Dr. Adelayo said. Having a task to focus on can distract you from feeling like the center of attention.
5. Bring a social sidekick
If you have a more outgoing friend, take them along to social events. Their social energy can help take some of the social pressure off you. “Having a sidekick who is the life of the party can help you feel less anxious,” Dr. Adelayo said. “Let them lead the conversation while you contribute when you feel ready.”
6. Take breaks
It’s okay to step away when your social meter is full. Step outside for fresh air or find a quiet space to regroup when overwhelmed. “It’s like refilling your mental energy,” Dr. Adelayo said.
7. Keep a routine
Routines can be disrupted during the holidays, which may intensify feelings of anxiety. Stick to activities that help you feel grounded, like going to the gym or following your sleep schedule. “When your routine stays on track, it can feel like a safety net,” Dr. Adelayo said. “Maintaining healthy habits like exercise, sleep and balanced meals will help naturally decrease your anxiety.”
Consider adding stress-reducing activities like yoga, meditation and deep breathing exercises. These practices can help calm your mind and reduce anxiety.
8. Avoid alcohol and drugs
Although it is tempting to loosen up or take the edge off at holiday events, alcohol and drugs can make anxiety worse. “You might say or do something you regret, and that can make your anxiety worse the next day,” Dr. Adelayo said. “It can sometimes trigger panic attacks.”
Set a limit for yourself if you do have alcohol. Or stick to non-alcoholic drinks and focus on staying grounded.
[Also read “Can Certain Foods Increase Stress and Anxiety?”]
9. Develop positive self-talk
People with SAD tend to have negative thoughts about themselves and intrusive thoughts about what could happen in social situations. But often, these thoughts aren’t grounded in reality. Dr. Adelayo advises acknowledging these thoughts and reframing them.
“You might feel like you sound stupid or will embarrass yourself, but many times people are just smiling and enjoying the moment,” Dr. Adelayo said. “Be kinder to yourself. Tell yourself that people are there to have fun and aren’t focused on you.”
10. Practice self-compassion
It’s easy to be hard on yourself when you have social anxiety. Remember, SAD is a real disorder. Acknowledge your feelings and recognize that it’s okay to struggle.
“Just like you wouldn’t ask someone with the flu to run a mile, don’t push yourself too hard,” Dr. Adelayo said.
Takeaway: Be kind to yourself
Navigating the holidays can be tough but they can be even more complicated when you have social anxiety. Remember that it’s okay to say no, take breaks and ask for support. “You’re not alone in this,” Dr. Adelayo said.
With the right strategies and a little planning, you can survive the season and emerge stronger from it.
If you or your loved one’s social anxiety is crippling and stops you from doing things you enjoy, look into getting help. There is nothing wrong with seeking help to live a happy and healthy life. Contact a trusted friend, a licensed therapist or a Banner Health specialist. You can also call Banner Behavioral Health at 800-254-4357.
Additionally, organizations like the Anxiety and Depression Association of America and the National Alliance on Mental Illness offer resources and support for those with social anxiety.
